late breaking News!

In a bold move, the President continues his "teachable" moment. Summoned to the White House, Terri finds herself at what's been coined as the "Beer Summit." The President decided to invite Terri, as he discovered she's prone to calling certain friends of hers "dumb blonde." In a savvy move, the invitation extended "Senora Malo" to participate in the race discussions enabled the President to cover all ethnic and social bases. In one fell swoop, the Senora represents not only senior citizens, but also undocumented aliens, the downtrodden, the hopeless, the tired and just plain down-on-their-luck people throughout the Fruited Plain. Originally scheduled for the Oval Office, the President decided to move the meeting outside to the picnic table, as the President didn't want "that tart in my office!"

And really, who can blame him? Just look at Senora Malo and behind her, the macho-muchacho, "I slipped a roofie in her drink and I think it's starting to take effect." I just hope Terri's learned her lesson about being nice and not "malo." Her last remaining friends? Pam, Carol and Patti...and all blonde.

***Terri is the best friend a friend could want. We just like to mess with each other. If I didn't love Terri, her name would be stricken from my list. Come home, Terri!

it's what's for dinner.

I found this website in a magazine ad for beef. Just when you think you know everything there is to know about beef, they throw this at you. You can browse practical beef recipes, shopping for beef, summer grilling, the butcher's block, etc. Where to begin? Check it out and then cry because you can't afford those luscious steaks. That's OK, hamburger is always an option.

And what am I making for dinner tonight? Pork.

walk this way!

Kentucky! Home of beautiful horses and rolling hills. I had Jason stop the car in the middle of a little country road, so that I could capture the evening tranquility of this sweet family. The baby lounging in the hay while mother and her friend quietly munch on their dinner.

What's this? It's the sealed entrance to MAMMOTH Cave! Here we are with our new friends, waiting for that door to open. They allow only a certain number of people through that door at a time, to ensure the cave stays at its natural temperature. This particular cave is called "New Entrance." New entrance my hiney, it was opened in the 1920's. That's not so new! What was new, were the 500 stairs we trekked, 3/4 mile hike through the cave, 250-foot descent to the cave's bowels and the 2-hours the tour took. But I wasn't complaining!

Here are my guys, hunching over to fit through the narrow and low-hanging passageways. I could walk upright through many of the passages, but they spent most of their tour in this position. Or lower. There were areas where I had to bend low. These dudes are over 6-foot...MAMMOTH!

This is a rock formation. I believe that it's part of the Frozen Niagara formation...I'm not one to hold up the tour to take a photo. I just point and shoot. I guess you could call me a straight-shooter. Anyhow, this is no Frozen Niagara. I grew up on an island in the middle of the Niagara River (hello, Grand Island readers!), a short distance from Niagara Falls and there is no comparison to the real Niagara Falls in a frozen state. But the rock Falls were pretty, in a cave-pretty way.

Upon completion of the New Entrance Tour, the lovely Ranger suggested we check out the Historic Entrance cave, just up to the gate, as our tickets wouldn't allow us the whole tour of this cave. We were game, this was the cave my parents took us to as children. Nostalgia runs deep in my bones. We met a friendly Ranger who invited us on this tour...I told him that our tickets weren't for that tour, but he was feeling generous and invited us along anyway. Hey, it was free! Jason and I said, "Yes!" So 2-hours, 2-miles, 457 stairs with an elevation of 300' , a hungry teenager LATER, we emerged from the cave and slowly crawled (like the Comcast turtles) back to our car. I slept rather soundly that night and was pretty sore for the next few days. But it was all worth it!

WHAT AN AWESOME DAY!

trek up the mountain.

A porn field. You heard me. It became a family joke..."Oh look, that sweet-looking house produces porn." Or, "Hey, get a look at that porn!" And on and on...but it was funny and in this family, we have a difficult time letting go of funny. It just eventually fizzles out, only to be resurrected the next time the opportunity arises.

Cows on the hill. Can you see them? One is at the top of the photo and there's one hiding behind the tree on the right. Lovely!

Up at the house at the top of the mountain, a view of the ceiling in Granny's kitchen. I find it rather charming, with all the old tea kettles and lantern hanging from the beams. As I've mentioned before, Granny is British and she has oodles of teapots. You can never have too many teapots!

Granny's porch early in the morning. The clouds have enveloped themselves around the house. We're standing at the top of some trees and the view looking down into the valley is spectacular!

*Tomorrow, we'll be hitting the road for the final leg of our vacation.

mammoth vacation.

This is the first stop on our vacation, Jonathan's Creek in North Carolina. It's right next door to Maggie Valley, a popular skiing destination. We're going to head up that mountain, to the very top. Granny's house is the second from the peak and believe-you-me, it's a harrowing drive up there. Especially in the dark.

Jonathan's Creek. It's a sweet creek, a Tom Sawyer kind of creek. It makes you want to take off your shoes and wade through it.

A barn. I love old barns. See the hay stored in it? There are cows in these here hills!

GPS. All the twisty turns. We didn't really need it to get to the top of the mountain, as my hubby can drive it with his eyes closed. Not that I'd advise that or even allow it! I just liked looking at the green line. I'm simple that way.

Heading up the mountain. It's a one-car road. Keep your eyes peeled for any on-coming traffic and for the sharp drop-off to the left. I sure wouldn't want to lose concentration and roll down the hill...that's why I'm not driving!

Tomorrow: up the mountain we go!

doggie addiction.

My friend Kathy is crazy over dachshunds. She has two adorable little dachshunds, or "doxies" as she calls them. I like that term, it fits her little doggies. They really are so cute...Shelby and Abby. So when I found this Japanese fabric on the Internet, I just had to have it for my girlfriend! All that was available was a fat quarter from Canada. It wasn't much material, but beggars can't be choosers. I anxiously waited for its arrival, and was soooo excited once it arrived. The fabric is delicious!

You may recall that I posted about what I was going to make here. I made two embellished dish towels, a key fob for Kathy and two minis for each of her daughters, along with these adorable little magnets with a box to present them in. The magnets are my favorite, they're so blinkin' cute! Magnet mania is on its way!

Donna kind-of-day.

I know a young woman who adored the Little Mermaid as a little girl. She knew all the songs and danced to each one, singing and dancing , dancing and singing. And we loved her so! We still do...she's a lovely young woman, gentle and sweet, who married a young man who is as equally kind and humorous. Both have been a blessing in our lives. So today, we want to wish our Donna a very blessed and...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

*purple is her favorite color*

itsy bitsy teeny-weeny, pierced navel bikini...

I'm still basking in the afterglow of our vacation...I'll be posting more on that once the ol' man goes back to work.

Those up there are key rings that I made for my girlfriend. She's giving them to her 20-year old daughter and friends, as little gifts for a casual get-together. The bra is a little pocket, to stash a lip balm or a little cash. They're really cute...

Check back soon for photographs and stories of our "mammoth" vacation.

truck, a phone & a menopausal woman.

This is my sweet ride. I have so enjoyed this vehicle and I faithfully take it to be serviced every 5000 miles. Because I want to own it forever and never pay another stinking car note...ever. Because I want this vehicle to always know the contour of my tush, I made a service appointment at the dealership we bought it from. Thursday I awoke bright and early, grabbed the trowel to apply my makeup, gulped down a cup of coffee and headed out the door. I was on the road at 6:40 am, driving down Interstate 95 to make my 7:00 am appointment and on the dot, arrived at the dealership. I was told by the efficient service writer that it would take about an hour and-a-half to rotate and balance the tires, check the levels and blow their magic pixie dust all over the truck. Fine. I waited and waited and heard my name...YAY, I'm done! "Whoa, hold on, little lady! It seems that your battery isn't up to snuff and it failed the energy test. Would you like for us to put a new one in?" Hmmmm...vacation is coming up....YES. Fine. Go ahead. So I wait a little longer, then I'm summoned to the counter to pay and my bill is now doubled, due to the termination of my battery. Whatever, I just want to hop in my sweet ride and get out of Dodge, blow that Popsicle stand...you get the picture.

Imagine my dismay when Jonathan went to pull the truck into the garage last night and it wouldn't.....START! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo....................................................So I got up early this morning and you guessed it, at the crack of dawn dialed the phone.

And dialed, and dialed and dialed. Left messages...the service manager was in a meeting. There was absolutely no one available (in charge) to speak with. "Oh, they're all in a meeting," I was told. "Oh, I was informed that Friday is your busiest day. WHY WOULD YOU CONDUCT MEETINGS ON YOUR BUSIEST DAY?" I demanded to speak to a manager, no one else would do. I had to leave a message, again. The service writer called and gave me a number to a towing company, he wanted me to have my ride towed back in (at their expense), but I had questions that he could not answer. "I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!!! " I called back, after leaving a message. I told the kind receptionist that if she didn't get someone on the phone immediately, I was going to send my lunatic husband down to the dealership and it wouldn't be pretty! Kids, I'm a pretty mild-mannered person, but at this point, I was stark-raving mad.

Aaaah-ha! That's the ticket...madness! Kevin (the service manager) picked up the phone and boy, did I let him have it! (I didn't curse, because I don't believe that cursing accomplishes anything except to make an individual sound coarse and illiterate). You know what? Kevin came to the house with a new battery and swapped it right there in my garage. He and a Russian man, Kevin's "arm." It seems that we were sold a bad battery back at the dealership. I asked Kevin if he brought "Ruskie" (I can't pronounce his name) along for protection. He chuckled and said "no." Now I personally don't believe Kevin, I think he thought that I was going to do him in. Maybe slam the hood down on his head as he peered into the engine. Or sweep his feet out from under him. Or lunge at him and rip out his juggler. I was that mad. But I learned something today...

I am woman, hear me roar!

And now my sweet ride and I are reunited and it feels so good!

sweet song Mom would sing to us.

There once was a Dutchman, whose name was Johnny Quebec

He made the finest sausages and sauerkraut and speck.

He made the finest sausages that ever you have seen

And one day he invented a wonderful sausage machine.

Oh, Mr. Johnny Quebec, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen.
They'll all be ground to sausages in Johnny Quebec's machine!

One day a boy came walking, came walking in the store,
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor
The boy began to whistle-he whistled up a tune,
And all the little sausages went running around the room.

Oh, Mr. Johnny Quebec, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine!
Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen.
They'll all be ground to sausages in Johnny Quebec's machine.

One day the darn machine broke,the darned thing wouldn't go;
So Johnny Quebec climbed down inside to see what made it slow.
His wife was having a nightmare and walking in her sleep.
She gave the crank an awful jerk and Johnny Quebec was meat!

Justice after all! This was my all-time favorite song as a child, always a treat when Mom would sing it. As she sang, I illustrated the words in my head, imagining Mr. Quebec chasing those poor animals. And the little boy freeing the doggie & kitty-sausages. The tune is quite catchy, very upbeat and happy. No sissy songs for us...Thanks, Mom.

Mom wrote out the words and ended it with this notation:

**Learned at Camp Immokalee, 1946 Campfire Song. Also learned to float.

identity crisis.

Oy vay, I've had quite a break from blogging! Sorry about that, I guess the well ran dry, I had writer's block, my mojo left me, void of inspiration...whatever the reason, I'm back!

The above is my newest project that I cannot tell you about. Because it's a surprise! The fabric has been altered with adorable cyber stickers, to protect its identity. If the stickers come off, the recipient is bound to know it's for her. Thus, the top-secret, high-tech identity blockers. And if the project is successful and it looks decent, I'll post the finished product.

Stay tuned for the last installment of, "The Songs My Mother Sang To Me," it's a doozy! We sang it together Sunday. I wish I could record her singing it and post it on YouTube. How cool would that be?

insect inspiration.

Here's another song mom would sing when I was a girl, a feel-good, "You can do it!" type song...

Next time your found,

with your chin on the ground

There's a lot to be learned, so look around.

Just what makes that little old ant

Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant?

Anyone knows an ant, can’t

Move a rubber tree plant!

But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes

He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes!

So any time your gettin’ low’stead of lettin’ go

Just remember that ant...

Oops there goes another rubber tree plant

oldies, but goodies!

Red Skelton. I remember watching his variety show when I was a little girl, waiting for the segment where he'd dress as a clown, his trademark.

Phyllis Diller. Oh, she was funny! And so crazy looking. But I loved her laugh. Those were the days when a performer could smoke on TV. She had one of those long cigarrette holders, just like Cruella de Vil's, and Phyllis'd puff away on that thing. Cool!

And my all-time favorite, Jimmy Durante. I absolutely adored him. What I remember most about his show is, at the end he'd be playing the piano and he'd say, "a-cha-cha!" And kind of tip the brim of his hat. What was it that I loved most about him? He resembled my beloved, one-of-a-kind grandpa, Frank Moran. It was the nose. What a nose!

XXOOXXOOXXOO, Grandpa!

now we're cooking!

I shan't miss my old vintage range. The range above is not mine (I'd love to own it), I was just trying to give you a visual...my range is from the '70's. We've kept it because it works and because I'm married to MacGyver. He's fixed it many, many times. But now, we're to the point that it's costing too much to keep replacing the parts and once one element is replaced, another goes. Hence, the new and improved cooking utensil...

...my new range. Let's see, it has 5 burners...a 3-in-1, a warming burner and a rapid boil burner. A convection oven and a warming drawer. And a steam-clean feature that is way too convenient! It will be taking up residence in my kitchen this Friday, at which time the countdown will cease.

If I'm not around much in the next few weeks, you'll know where I am: I'll be gazing lovingly at my new oven...I'm so simple!

blast from the past.

A deep, dark secret from my past...I was a Hooter's Girl! Yes, I was! That was in the '80's, when the "uniforms" were scandalous and hooter enhancements weren't prevelant. We were just "au'natural"gals. In little shorts and tops. And sneakers. There was only one Hooters in town and that was the place to party, especially during the Florida/Georgia game. I made money...without any surgery. And my mom just about died. Sorry 'bout that, mom. It could have been worse...Playboy Bunny waitresses were still around back then!

let freedom ring!

I have always loved musicals...stage or movie productions, either one, I'm not a snob. I vividly remember this film, 1776, which I fell in love with at the age of 10. In a nutshell, the plot centers around the Representatives of the original Thirteen Colonies, in a heated and volatile political debate concerning the rights of the colonists in their relationship to Great Britain. After a year of debating and drafting, in the sweltering heat of the summer of 1776 in the city of Philadelphia, the historic Declaration of Independence was signed. Amen.

Did you know that Benjamin Franklin was pushing for the turkey to be our national bird? He believed the eagle to be rather dim-witted and the turkey a more noble, intelligent bird. Thank goodness he didn't get his way, because that would have totally ruined Thanksgiving...who could have killed and roasted and then eaten our Nation's bird?

In this era of growing government, it's so important that we the people, hold tight of the basic principles of our Founding Fathers and not let our liberties gradually slip through our fingers. The Founders fought fiercely for the basic human rights of their colonists and those of the future citizens of these, our precious United States of America.

Happy 4th of July!

not just for laundry anymore!

Do you know anyone who's tying the ol' knot anytime soon? If you do, please have them look at these perfect little beauties...

... wedding cake toppers! Aren't they delicious? They're clothespins! I knew there had to be a better use for them than what they were intended for...c'mon, laundry? They're so much cuter gussied up as a bride and groom! Check them out at A Steno Pad For My Thoughts...and while you're there, take a peek in her store. It's stamp and clothespin heaven!