Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sunday afternoon poetry.

Where My Clothes Are

Dirty clothes should be put in the hamper.
Clean clothes should be put in the drawer.
But it takes too much time and it takes too much work,
so I throw them all over the floor.

~poems by Bruce Lansky

illustrated by Stephen Carpenter
from the book: Poetry Party

Friday, May 29, 2009

half-century celebration.

This past weekend, my boys and I, along with Mom & Dad, drove to Orlando to surprise my brother Mike for his 50th birthday. Or shall I say, "birtday." Apparently, those Hiltons don't know how to spell. I'm not surprised.

But Mikey was! Look at that face! He's either the best method actor in Orlando, or he really was surprised. I think he's a good method-actor.

Oh, look! There are our babies! Not Grandma & Pa, those whippersnappers standing behind them. Why, I remember when they used to run around the house naked after their baths. Not Grandma & Pa, those tall whippersnappers standing behind them...

Hey, Mikey! What'cha doing? Are you asleep? AARP hasn't sunk their sinewy fingers into you yet, have they? Did ya doze off after all the excitement? Or are you saving your energy for...

...this vision of loveliness? Does your wife know? I'm sorry, she is your wife. Odd, she didn't have a gift for you. Hmmmmm....oh, I get it! She gave you your gift later.

We had a great time! Now you can look forward to your next half-century. The best is yet to come! God bless you!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

leaving on a jet plane.

These pot holders are ready to take flight, to soar the big, blue American skies. I couldn't decide which color dots I liked better, so I compromised and did one pot holder in each. Call me crazy.

I'll have some pictures of our trip to Orlando this past weekend posted soon, but for now, I'm trying to develop a cold and my eyelids are trying to shut. Why fight it?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

day for celebrating!

i have to having a birthday party for her baby, Fresh Squeezed Fabrics. FSF is one, how fast they grow! Head on over to join in the celebration and enter to win a fabulous birthday present of fresh squeezed fabric! She's giving away three gifts, how lovely is that? Just click here and enter to win!

Congratulations, Randi! I love your shop.

Friday, May 22, 2009

keep it cool, baby.

I am smitten with these coolers. I can't exactly say why, except for the fact that they're so convenient. Great for carrying a smaller supply of beverages. Take it to the the park, playing tennis, golf, work, the gym (taking in a big breath of oxygen), the beach, shopping, the movies, get the idea.

I'm thinking of listing them in my store, but I'd like to offer these to you, my great readers, at a special summer rate: $10.00 for the drawstring carrier (plus shipping) and $8.00 for the tote (plus shipping). Quantities are limited.

If you'd like to place an order, please contact me:
Have a lovely, safe Memorial Day weekend!

reason to watch your language.

I don't know about you, but I've often felt like saying this. I don't think I've ever carried through, but it's enough to hear it from this sweet little face. It's amazing what the little imps pick if you don't want your kiddos to say anything naughty, you had best remember this little girl the next time you're about to slip up. Rest assured, they'll remember to say it (A)to their teacher, or (B)to your pastor.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

welcome RX!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer: that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ration is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're Not Listening!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?! HELLO, cocoa beans! Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! "Round" is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Finally, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

you light up my life.

It's raining, raining, raining. What else to do but sew? Does the house really need cleaning? I didn't think so. Instead, I made these happy, summer writstlets. Birds. Those owls are so charming and cute. The flamingos are, well, just....tropical! They're both bright and sassy and I just love them!

I'm off to sew some more. Do I really need to get dinner started? I didn't think so.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

ode to an ensemble.

Your lovely blooms have brightened my week.
So vibrant, full of color and warmth.
I smile each time I look upon you,
for you remind me of vintage linens
and of my dear grandmother.
And please remember this:
don't get dirty!

Sunday, May 17, 2009


I thought I might change things up a bit, shake up my sewing repertoire. Since Twitter has made such a big splash, I thought perhaps a bird design was in order. In the Great Closet Caper (I told you all how I was over it and wouldn't bring it up anymore...I guess I lied) I found a bunch of jeans that MacGyver had ruined in his mechanical "pursuits." Rather than throw all of that denim lusciousness away, an old rusty bell went off in my head and I decided to keep and "repurpose" (new, hip term for "reuse") the old pants. Way, way back in my high school art class, I discovered I had a knack for applique (waaaaay before it became so popular). Being that all the birds I'm seeing on blogs are cute and fat, I made this fat bird from leftover fabric scraps. I think I'll embroider "twitter" or "tweet" on the denim. Oh, this is going to be a purse. I forgot to mention that. One side denim, the other, pieced fabrics. Maybe I'll stick a heart on the other side of that denim seam...

I'm open to any suggestions. My creativity has been ebbing and being that you're all smart folks, I could use your help...SOS!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

shop of wonders.

Are you serious? Can this be?

How incredibly cute are these cookies? I love them! I need to take a trip to The Cookie Cutter Shop and buy some of these little beauties. There are soooo many cute cutters available, how will I ever decide when the pickins're so plentiful?

This cutter is perfect for a tropical summer cookie.

There are recipes on the web site, including an animal cracker recipe, dog biscuits, dough ornaments, to name a few.
I think these would make perfect gifts...I'm going to buy some special cutters and make cookies as gifts, including the cutter itself.
Can't wait!

end to a saga.

I'm almost done boring you with my closet, I promise! Here we are, in the messy, overstuffed closet.

Here is the empty closet. Naked, vulnerable.

Aaaaaah, here we are.
Feeling pretty,
oh, so pretty!
Feeling pretty, and witty, and gay (get over it)...

The End.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

thank goodness yesterday is gone & we have a winner!

Congratulations, Mindy! Random has again worked his mathematical magic, choosing you as the winner of this very bright, neon pink cooler. The huge neon green and pink flower pin should look lovely on on of your work ensembles. I'd like to thank all who entered, it's been a lot of fun reading your comments and blogs. Thank you for being my friends.

Yesterday was quite a day...for one thing, I had my new closet installed. I love it! I'm in the process of sorting clothing & deciding which frocks are worthy of residing in my new space. These are important decisions, as I don't want to end up with junk overtaking the closet again. Along with these concerns, I was composing a paper for a meeting I was to attend in the evening. I was completing the final edit and putting some finishing touches on it, trying to lighten it up a bit. Closet, paper, back to the closet, again to the paper...a vicious circle. Then the phone rang and plopping in MacGyver's big chair to chat, I looked out the back window and let out a blood-curdling scream into the receiver. OK, I didn't really scream out loud, I was screaming inside my head and I've gotta tell you, there was an echo (what does that mean to you?). There, on the roof of MacGyver's practically new high-tech garage (not really high-tech, MacGyver doesn't need new equipment to be effective), was a big gnarly tree limb. It had bent the framing and punctured the roof...why, oh why, oh why, oh why, why, why?! Why do the neighbors' trees fall into our nice and neat yard, why won't they just topple in their own yards? Why?!!!!! Water Oaks are just no darned good, I'm telling you!

I never finished the paper. I was late for my meeting. They ridiculed and mocked my shallow excuse (not really, they're all lovely ladies), dashing my hopes that this task would be completed and wiped off my to-do list. So much for hope.

And now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my closet.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

chocolate test.

I know, I know, I was supposed to post the winner to the adorable pink tote/cooler giveaway this weekend. But man, my life got very hectic! Please accept my sincere apology. While I tally up the comments and friends who agreed to follow me and then pay a visit to my friend, Random Generator, take this chocolate test and see if it isn't pretty darned cool. Before you begin your test, grab some chocolate to help you think...

Don't tell me your age, because I won't believe the falsehood springing forth from your lips! I have the HERSHEY MAN, he will determine your age without your assistance...

1. Pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once, but less than 10).

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50...yes, get the calculator, I don't trust your math skills.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1759...if you haven't, add 1758

6. Now subract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e. how many times you want to have chocolate each week)
The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! Oh yes it is!!!!

This is the only year (2009) it will ever work. Did it predict your age, ya oldie? Good. Go forth and eat chocolate!

Friday, May 8, 2009

buried treasure.

We once knew a fierce pirate, long before pirates were the rage. He never left home without his pirate attire. Quite the swashbuckler, he cut a dashing figure!

This was the hat our pirate wore, through the cold of winter and the sweltering heat and humidity of the Florida summers. On one particular hot, humid sweltering day on tour aboard a naval ship, he replied to his Grandma (who asked if he might like to take off his hat due to the heat), "But Grandma, how will they know I'm a pirate?" That, my friends, is a pirate dedicated to his profession!

This is what a once-pirate now wears. No eye patch. No plastic sword. No pirate hat. *Sigh* They grow up way too fast!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

day for unexpected guests.

You may recall that I'm in the midst of cleaning up after the typhoon that wreaked havoc in our closet. In the carnage, I found a box and in the box I found a treasure that I had forgotten. After several years of wondering where they were, they paid a welcome visit to my living room. I invited them in, telling them that there was plenty of room and yes, even their animals were allowed to enter (learning a lesson from those losers of so very long ago). First to enter, the adorable sheep and her baby. Then came the camel, laying down next to the sheep. Three Wise Men and two shepherds (the shepherd on the far left bears a striking resemblance to my husband) followed, bearing gifts...not for me, mind you (I could use a little gold right now...just saying), but for The One. And then, joy of joys, a carpenter walked in, carrying a rugged manger, setting it tenderly upon my floor. Last to enter was the carpenter's beautiful wife, who was cradling a precious infant. She gently placed the child in the manger, where He happily snuggled into the hay, falling off to sleep with a smile on His precious face.

We were all so happy! Can you see the happy faces? Even the animals are smiling! I too, have a big smile on my face. The joy that this family brought me today is indescribable. They were lost and now they are found. That baby fills my heart with joy and peace.

And I'm hoping that your day is filled with joy, love & contentment.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

dotty day.

Dotty apron #1. Made with Amy Butler fabrics (the photo doesn't do the fabric justice).

Dotty apron #2. Made from vintage Wonder Bread wrappers. Exactly what came to mind when I completed this apron. I just love the fabric.

Dotty Fact: I used the Lucy pattern from Megan over at Brassy Apple...she's really terrific. This is a very cute pattern, I love it!

Finally, I've come across oodles of old clothing from my closet...I feel some half aprons in our future. Repurposing is the trend and I am, if anything, trendy.

Friday, May 1, 2009

FREE-ky Friday!

Hello, Summer!

I am giving away this supremely cute hot-pink tote cooler, just in time for summer. This cooler is not only handy, but looks stunning sitting by the pool. It fits about 6 soda ("pop" up North) cans, or several bottles of water...yes, you know you can substitute beer for soda and wine coolers for water! I made and added the flower pin, to give the tote cooler a kick and have something handmade on it. The pin is removable, stick it on your hat, or bikini. Or use it as a pastey (pastie?)...ha, ha, ha.

The inside of the cooler has that silver stuff, used in lunch bags all over the world. I call it insulation, therma something-or-other...I'm not a technical gal.

I'm depressed...I have only 8 followers. I know, it's not the quantity of friends one has, it's the quality of the friendship. And I agree with that, 'cause the followers I have are SPECTACULAR! But I'm looking pitiful, like a wallflower at the dance. So I'm unabashedly begging for friends...don't judge me! Here's what you'll need to do:

~Become a follower for a chance at the tote.

~If you grab my button over there on the side bar (Share Me) and paste/link it to your blog, there's a second chance. **I am desperately trying to figure out how to get the HTML code in the sidebar...would love you forever if you could help me...

~If you blog about my giveaway, there's a third chance.

~If you're an original follower, prior to today, I'll throw in an extra chance for you.

~And if you're brand spanking new to blogging and can't do any of the above, leave a comment and you'll still get a chance at Pinkie up there. Afterall, one chance is really all you need (that's what I tell myself as I'm buying one Lotto ticket.)!

You must leave a comment telling me which of the above you're doing, so that I can check on you, like a mother checking her daughter's dusting...that's another story. I'll use my trusty friend, Random Generator to select one lucky follower. Confused? Yeah, me too!

I'll run this giveaway through Thursday, May 7th and announce the winner next weekend. You know, this could end very badly for me. What if only two people show up? I mean, I'll cherish them, but I may end up in therapy. This could be The Miss America Pageant episode all over again. Where I answer the question incorrectly and end up on the Today show, talking about my failed contest and my rumored breast implants, or lack thereof.

Good luck, friends!
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