Thursday, December 31, 2009

non-typical movie review: Nine.

I put on my good bra this morning and met my mother at the movie theater to see the movie "Nine."

It was entertaining enough, not deep, just entertaining.

Right here is where my review might come in handy to you, my friends:

If you're planning on seeing "Nine" with a female, just put on a little makeup and wear a good bra, because the women in this flick are gorgeous and they really will make the average mom/wife/girlfriend look, shall we say, "pale."

If you're planning on dragging the man in your life with you, trowel that makeup all over your face, outline your eyes in lots of eyeliner and wear your corset, 'cause he's gonna want to continue this movie when ya'll get home.

I haven't seen that many boobs since the last time I watched C-Span!

Watch this, see what I'm talking about:

Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm, lots of cleavage.

So if you're interested in a little "action," don your pretty skivvies and drag your Neanderthal to see this movie with you.

If you're not in the mood (ha, ha, excuse me while I count all the hands up in the air wildly waving at me), take your mother or your sister or your girlfriend to see it.

Then promise yourself it's time to go on a diet and buy yourself a good push-up bra.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

motivational ploy.

What will they come up with next?

A new, technologically-assisted, interactive way to get your kids to do their chores: My Job Chart.

When I was a kid, all it took was a glare or a threat from Dad or Mom and we became putty in their hands. Why, I remember scrubbing the basement steps...but that's another story entitled, "Cinderella." (Just kidding, Mom).

But times, apparently, are different.


Do you think I could get this system to work on myself?

Or would that be a total waste of time?

Yeah, I think I'll try it...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

mischievous habit.

Those who know me fairly well are aware that I have a love for nuns. As a little girl, I wanted to grow up to be a nun. I, ahhhh....ahem. My eligibility on taking certain vows, ummmmmm...shall we say, has run out, is kaput, has long left the building.

I was delighted, however, to have received this adorable calendar from my sister-in-law, Red Bear. Known to outsiders not a member of our two-participant circle, as "Laurie."

Sit back and enjoy some of the very cool photos in my very own calendar of...

Laurie, I hope you don't get excommunicated for this!

Oh, dear.

Ha, ha...those 3rd-graders can try the patience of a saint!

Now, this is the type of nun I would be...can you see how she's all made up? I apparently cut off her feet while photographing this page. The makeup wearing sister is also wearing high-heels. Very funny... if you could see her sexy shoes compared to the sensible shoes of the other sisters!

Swing away, my sistahs!

Oh, dear.

Amen! Have fun sisters, you deserve it!

Oh, dear.

Pray, sisters! That's what I do on those scary coasters!

Reminiscent of The Flying Nun, one of my all-time favorite shows as a child.

Wait, isn't that a photo of Sally Field?

Ha, ha, ha...I crack myself up!

Thanks for the calendar, Laurie.

It's divine!

Monday, December 28, 2009


Did you have a Merry Christmas? We did!

This is my agenda for the next two weeks:

~change my blog header
~sort my fabric and clean my sewing room
~get rid of all the clutter in our house
~get rid of all the clutter in our house
~get rid of all the clutter in our...bedroom
~revamp my web site
~revamp me
~begin my sewing projects for the Spring
~jump in a huge martini glass and have a drink

What's on your agenda? I may need to borrow your ideas. I'm terribly disingenuous.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas thought...

The Shepherds:
"Those who know they know nothing."

The Wise Men:
"Those who know they do not know everything."

~Archbishop Fulton Sheen

O, come let us adore Him!

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

alternative to ho-hum chicken.

Chicken Piccata. Divine. Luscious.

When I was in my twenties, I frequented a restaurant that served an excellent Veal Piccata. It was the only item I ordered off the expensive menu. It was just that good. And I haven't tasted it since the day I left Buffalo, almost 25 years ago.

But that all changed today, when I ran across this recipe. It's not veal, but who cares? It turned out to be just as delicious and much less expensive. And the best part, my teenage son loved it! He doesn't really care for the taste of lemon...I figured it was time to expand his palette.

I recommend you give this a spin in your's fast and very easy. And yummy. Besides, who doesn't love Ina Garten's recipes...they're all fabulous!

Friday, December 18, 2009

tale of two photos.

Every year I take a photo of Jonathan and his side-kick dog for our Christmas card. This year is no exception, except for the fact that it's late and time is of the essence!

See the cute dimple in Jonathan's cheek? I digress. It's a cute photo of the two of them..until I realized that I have this photo...

Professional. Sharp. Dramatic.

I'm off to purchase my fabulous Christmas photo cards that include this photo, along with two other sleek and stunning photos of our handsome son with his pain in-the-hiney wonder dog.

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Uh-oh. I broke it. It's kaput. Poor thing, her feet are tired and she refuses to walk any more fabric.

What to do, what to do? Just plug in the backup, the go-to gal. Plain, yet reliable. Smooth and steady, no bells and whistles on her.

Just a few more things to sew and freedom!

Beautiful new fabrics and several great projects await in the New Year.

But for now, I'm just going to relax and enjoy Christmas!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

in the lane snow is glistening.

For those of you suffering under cold, frigid temperatures...I bring you these. Roses. In December.

They're OK, but I'd rather be here...

Singing in the snow in front of my Victorian house with the wide, inviting porch. Singing Christmas carols with the children happily building snowmen and the horses passing by, jingling their sleigh bells.

Is there such a place? Because we want to move there, pronto. This 80-degree weather is unbearable at Christmastime!

Monday, December 14, 2009


Thirteen down and twelve to go! Then I'm goning try and run a quarterback sneak and attempt a field goal. If all else fails, I'm going to throw a Hail Mary.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

Sunday, December 13, 2009


Help. Me. I'm snowed under! Buried. Digging my way out! Or rather, sewing my way out.

The end is in sight. I'm hoping to be all caught up by the end of today. Bwah-ha-ha, it'll never happen!

Christmas shopping still needs to happen, baking, parties to attend, church obligations.

But I'm not too worried about'll all get done. It always does.

Breathe, Patti...breathe!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

ornamental day.

If anyone has a little time to spare, please make me these fabulous little ornaments! You can find the "how to" right here.

At the moment, I'm busy putting the finishing touches on some sweatshirts repurposed into cardigans. Which was terrifying for me, cutting up brand new sweatshirts and remaking them. I'm not used to taking material apart, I'm used to putting it together . Oh, and the painting on the fabric, free-hand! What if I make a mistake (I did)? You can't erase it!

I've been busy with custom orders and probably won't finish until next week. *Sigh*

If anyone has a little extra time, how about doing some shopping for me...please?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

The Angel of the Lord declared unto Mary,
And she conceived of the Holy Spirit.
Hail Mary...
Behold the handmaid of the Lord.
Be it done unto me according to Your Word.
Hail Mary...
And the Word was made flesh,
And dwelt among us.
Hail Mary...
Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray:
Pour forth, we beseech You, O Lord, Your Grace into our hearts;
that as we have known the incarnation of Christ, your Son
by the message of an angel,
so by His passion and cross we may be brought to the glory of
His Resurrection.
Through the same Christ, our Lord.

Monday, December 7, 2009

December 7th, 1941...Pearl Harbor

I thought it an important date we all should try and remember. There are those who would like us to forget attacks such as these. One day, it just might be up to us to teach our grandchildren these dates in history, along with the events that helped shape America into the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Friday, December 4, 2009

tale of snow.

Quite often, I need a reminder that some towns and cities in the beautiful and bountiful USA might, at this moment, have some of these happy fellas standing around.

Which reminds me of my childhood on Grand Island, NY. My brothers (with a little help from me) would spend hours building big beautiful snowmen, monuments of our youthful enthusiasm and tolerance to freezing temperatures; red, frozen noses and red-tipped ears. We would spend hours, or so it seemed, building the biggest, baddest snowman on the street.

One particular snowman comes to mind...he was a beauty! We were quite proud of the gentleman. A snowman standing in one's yard was a status symbol, something to be admired and coveted by all who passed by. After rolling three boulder-sized snowballs for his body and with a few snowball fights between siblings, we trudged into the house, happy and contented children. We had, after all, erected the perfect snowman. Excited about our masterpiece standing dutifully in the front yard, we grudgingly went inside to defrost our ears, noses (one nose per child) and hands.

The following morning was Sunday, which meant getting ready for mass. Four kids and two parents and one guest squeezed into the sedan heading for church. That's when we discovered that overnight, our snowman had morphed into a......snowwoman. You know what that the cover of darkness, to our delight, "someone" (Bob and Jimmy Brown...yes, quite certain it was they) had augmented our masterpiece. Complete with stones strategically placed on the voluptuous white bosoms of our snowman/woman.

Boy, did our visiting southern-grandmother get a kick out of that!


Thursday, December 3, 2009

PSA on the PGA.

With all that's been happening in celebrity news this week (Meredeth Baxter, Tiger Woods), I've decided to use my blog as the forum to admit my prior "transgression" with a famous golf pro. I am not at liberty to disclose who I've been cavorting with, as Gloria Allred is currently helping out a fellow "hostess" of mine and I haven't cleared the details with Gloria. Here is the list of my possible candidates:

Not him...not that I couldn't handle the competition.

Perhaps Jack?

Possibly Lee...

Now here's a Player!

Arnold Palmer? He is, after all, giving the thumbs up!

I'll never tell!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful?

The search is over...I've finally found her! I've been looking for a dress form for months and when I least expected, she appeared from out of nowhere and captured my heart. And she was on sale! Fully expecting to pay at least $100 for a dress form, this lovely found me and she was half price! At that moment I loved her even more! Even the older gentleman waiting for his wife at the checkout was smitten with this vision. Honestly. Not able to stop talking about her, he bordered a little on the creepy, just as I am now...

Here she is, almost fully-dressed, except for half of her (I couldn't resist saying that). She's wearing a vibrant new apron I made, minus the pocket. It definitely needs the pocket. I've made a red apron and soon, a cupcake apron. I'll share pics of the aprons now that I have a stunning new model.

Things I need to do:

~string the lights on our naked tree
~clean (is that really necessary?)
~sing Christmas carols
~buy and mail Christmas cards
~create a new banner
~name my new model

Monday, November 30, 2009

getting ready!

'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la!

Here is our 17.5 year-old boy. This is an example of why parents keep their children for as long as they do...menial labor. Good thing this boy is sweet-natured, or I might be the one with an errant staple lodged in my forehead.

*Note the color of that sky...isn't it a perfect shade of blue?

Success! This is just the beginning of our Christmas preparation, but what a kick-off!

I love Christmas!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

wordless Thanksgiving.

Apparently, Jason kind of stuck his foot in "it" the night before Thanksgiving. I was talking to Mom on the phone and she said that she thought we should give up drinking alcohol for Thanksgiving (hello, Mom. That's Lent, not TG!). Jason quipped back that he would give up alcohol if she would give up talking. Guess what?

Upon unwrapping my frozen turkey, I discovered that it wasn't the Tom I assumed it would be, it was a girl-turkey! How do you tell a frozen girl turkey from a frozen boy? My turkey's legs were crossed in a lady-like fashion....note the "bling" I rewarded her, on the tip of her wing.

A picture's worth a thousand words...thanks, Mom!

I do believe Grandma was looking for a written message for Jonathan...I love it when they laugh together!

And that, my friends, was our Thanksgiving in one hundred words or less. Inspired by Mom.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

pluck those feathers and truss that bird!

This is what I'll be doing today. Frantically searching for recipes to prepare and serve for tomorrow's guest of honor, Monsieur Turkey. Have I ever told you that once there was a turkey who resided on the other side of our fence? He was incredibly cool, funny, entertaining and functional...he would gobble at anyone in our yard who didn't live here. He was our watch-turkey. We don't know what became of him; one day, he was gone! Hmmmm...

I am thankful to the Pilgrims and the Indians for coming up with the phrase, "Can't we all just get along?" It was they who said that, wasn't it? And then the Indians ticked off the Pilgrims again and the Pilgrims threw the chief in the stockade...? No? That was Rodney King from the LA riots?

My history seems to be all mixed up...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

doo wa diddy.

This kicked my giraffe-butt. It's not that difficult...only the very last step of construction. When the sun makes its return in "sunny" Florida, I'll post some pics of the other "kick my hiney" clutches/wristlets/shoulder bags. This photo lacks a scale reference...I'm bad!

Today I'm trying to focus on making more of my standard wristlets. With one more Market left, I need to restock some stuff. I'll probably finish with 5 or so purses, more pouches, a few journal binders and a few more aprons. Oh, and in the next day or two, I need to cook a TURKEY and some taters!

Other than that, I'm not busy at all. How about you? Are you ready for Thursday and that ever elusive (in my life) Black Friday? Do you participate in that?

Have you enjoyed the links to the fabulous tutorials I've found along the way? Would you like me to continue my quest for creative Christmas ideas? Hmmmmm? Would 'ja?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

turkey nonsense.

It's time to get your turkey together!
Defrost that bird!

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