Tuesday, September 22, 2009

gator rodeo!

I've been busy, lately. But it's not been all sewing and personal stuff, I've been hunting Gators! Maybe a team of Gators? Like this bunch. Winners!

Or maybe this Gator. Hey, I'm no cougar...he could be my son. And besides, when you have handy MacGyver, who needs a Tebow? But Tim is cute, isn't he?

No, I wrastled me a real gator. Hey, he took my beer! I was out in the North Florida swamps in the early morning this weekend, bow in hand and cooler beside me when this lizard reared up and grabbed my beer. So I shot him. Twice. I had to make sure he was dead before I hauled him onto my boat...I jumped in the water and gave him a good heave-ho!

Once I was back on shore, I slapped him over my shoulder and carried him to my pickup. "You want a beer, well here's a beer!" Just trying to humiliate him.

He's a big boy! Just look at all that skin! Once I skin and tan him, he'll make some awesome purses, wallets and belts!

Hey, wait a minute...who's this guy? Alright, it wasn't I who captured the reptilian, it was Scott, my neighbor across the street. He's this millennium's answer to Crockodile Dundee, the eighties' Steve Irwin. Poor Steve, I miss that bloke. Or Jeff Corwin...no, he sold out to Food Network (great hunters don't get a cooking show, for goodness sake!). The neighborhood tries to keep Scott under wraps, we don't talk about him too much to outsiders. He captures wild critters for us and if the world finds out about him, there goes our critter cowboy. And then who will save our property from huge wild turtles? Scott caught a gargantuan tortoise in my front garden and the dang thing urinated all over the place, except that it looks like diarrhea. Who would put up with that, except Scott?

Hey, Gator! You remind me of someone. Yeah, don't poke your eye out...it hurts!


Thomas Fleming said...

Your NEIGHBOR corralled this monster? And brought it back HOME? Where and why did he snag it? It would be pretty cool to check out something like that up close and personal--as long as it was DEAD! What did he do with it?

J said...

1. Tim Tebow ROCKS!!!!
2. We are headin' to KY this weekend to watch the Gators in action Saturday night!!! Woo to the Hoo!!!! (it's so much closer for us than The Swamp)
3. Everyone should have a neighbor that is willing to corral large urinating reptiles. Anyone can have a neighbor that will give you a cup of sugar, but corraling is a whole 'nother ball game!
4. Jeff Corwin has a show on Food Network?!? That's just crazy!! He really never compared to Steve Irwin anyway...I'm just sayin'

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...