~poems by Bruce Lansky
Sunday, May 31, 2009
~poems by Bruce Lansky
Friday, May 29, 2009
We had a great time! Now you can look forward to your next half-century. The best is yet to come! God bless you!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I'll have some pictures of our trip to Orlando this past weekend posted soon, but for now, I'm trying to develop a cold and my eyelids are trying to shut. Why fight it?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Congratulations, Randi! I love your shop.
Friday, May 22, 2009
I am smitten with these coolers. I can't exactly say why, except for the fact that they're so convenient. Great for carrying a smaller supply of beverages. Take it to the pool...to the park, playing tennis, golf, work, the gym (taking in a big breath of oxygen), the beach, shopping, the movies, picnics...you get the idea.
I'm thinking of listing them in my store, but I'd like to offer these to you, my great readers, at a special summer rate: $10.00 for the drawstring carrier (plus shipping) and $8.00 for the tote (plus shipping). Quantities are limited.
If you'd like to place an order, please contact me: email@example.com
I don't know about you, but I've often felt like saying this. I don't think I've ever carried through, but it's enough to hear it from this sweet little face. It's amazing what the little imps pick up...so if you don't want your kiddos to say anything naughty, you had best remember this little girl the next time you're about to slip up. Rest assured, they'll remember to say it (A)to their teacher, or (B)to your pastor.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer: that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ration is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're Not Listening!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?! HELLO, cocoa beans! Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! "Round" is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Finally, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I'm open to any suggestions. My creativity has been ebbing and being that you're all smart folks, I could use your help...SOS!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
How incredibly cute are these cookies? I love them! I need to take a trip to The Cookie Cutter Shop and buy some of these little beauties. There are soooo many cute cutters available, how will I ever decide when the pickins're so plentiful?
This cutter is perfect for a tropical summer cookie.
There are recipes on the web site, including an animal cracker recipe, dog biscuits, dough ornaments, to name a few.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Yesterday was quite a day...for one thing, I had my new closet installed. I love it! I'm in the process of sorting clothing & deciding which frocks are worthy of residing in my new space. These are important decisions, as I don't want to end up with junk overtaking the closet again. Along with these concerns, I was composing a paper for a meeting I was to attend in the evening. I was completing the final edit and putting some finishing touches on it, trying to lighten it up a bit. Closet, paper, back to the closet, again to the paper...a vicious circle. Then the phone rang and plopping in MacGyver's big chair to chat, I looked out the back window and let out a blood-curdling scream into the receiver. OK, I didn't really scream out loud, I was screaming inside my head and I've gotta tell you, there was an echo (what does that mean to you?). There, on the roof of MacGyver's practically new high-tech garage (not really high-tech, MacGyver doesn't need new equipment to be effective), was a big gnarly tree limb. It had bent the framing and punctured the roof...why, oh why, oh why, oh why, why, why?! Why do the neighbors' trees fall into our nice and neat yard, why won't they just topple in their own yards? Why?!!!!! Water Oaks are just no darned good, I'm telling you!
I never finished the paper. I was late for my meeting. They ridiculed and mocked my shallow excuse (not really, they're all lovely ladies), dashing my hopes that this task would be completed and wiped off my to-do list. So much for hope.
And now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my closet.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Don't tell me your age, because I won't believe the falsehood springing forth from your lips! I have the HERSHEY MAN, he will determine your age without your assistance...
1. Pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once, but less than 10).
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50...yes, get the calculator, I don't trust your math skills.
5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1759...if you haven't, add 1758
6. Now subract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e. how many times you want to have chocolate each week)
The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! Oh yes it is!!!!
This is the only year (2009) it will ever work. Did it predict your age, ya oldie? Good. Go forth and eat chocolate!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
You may recall that I'm in the midst of cleaning up after the typhoon that wreaked havoc in our closet. In the carnage, I found a box and in the box I found a treasure that I had forgotten. After several years of wondering where they were, they paid a welcome visit to my living room. I invited them in, telling them that there was plenty of room and yes, even their animals were allowed to enter (learning a lesson from those losers of so very long ago). First to enter, the adorable sheep and her baby. Then came the camel, laying down next to the sheep. Three Wise Men and two shepherds (the shepherd on the far left bears a striking resemblance to my husband) followed, bearing gifts...not for me, mind you (I could use a little gold right now...just saying), but for The One. And then, joy of joys, a carpenter walked in, carrying a rugged manger, setting it tenderly upon my floor. Last to enter was the carpenter's beautiful wife, who was cradling a precious infant. She gently placed the child in the manger, where He happily snuggled into the hay, falling off to sleep with a smile on His precious face.
We were all so happy! Can you see the happy faces? Even the animals are smiling! I too, have a big smile on my face. The joy that this family brought me today is indescribable. They were lost and now they are found. That baby fills my heart with joy and peace.
And I'm hoping that your day is filled with joy, love & contentment.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Dotty apron #2. Made from vintage Wonder Bread wrappers. Exactly what came to mind when I completed this apron. I just love the fabric.
Dotty Fact: I used the Lucy pattern from Megan over at Brassy Apple...she's really terrific. This is a very cute pattern, I love it!
Finally, I've come across oodles of old clothing from my closet...I feel some half aprons in our future. Repurposing is the trend and I am, if anything, trendy.
Friday, May 1, 2009
I am giving away this supremely cute hot-pink tote cooler, just in time for summer. This cooler is not only handy, but looks stunning sitting by the pool. It fits about 6 soda ("pop" up North) cans, or several bottles of water...yes, you know you can substitute beer for soda and wine coolers for water! I made and added the flower pin, to give the tote cooler a kick and have something handmade on it. The pin is removable, stick it on your hat, or bikini. Or use it as a pastey (pastie?)...ha, ha, ha.
I'm depressed...I have only 8 followers. I know, it's not the quantity of friends one has, it's the quality of the friendship. And I agree with that, 'cause the followers I have are SPECTACULAR! But I'm looking pitiful, like a wallflower at the dance. So I'm unabashedly begging for friends...don't judge me! Here's what you'll need to do:
~Become a follower for a chance at the tote.
~If you grab my button over there on the side bar (Share Me) and paste/link it to your blog, there's a second chance. **I am desperately trying to figure out how to get the HTML code in the sidebar...would love you forever if you could help me...
~If you blog about my giveaway, there's a third chance.
~If you're an original follower, prior to today, I'll throw in an extra chance for you.
~And if you're brand spanking new to blogging and can't do any of the above, leave a comment and you'll still get a chance at Pinkie up there. Afterall, one chance is really all you need (that's what I tell myself as I'm buying one Lotto ticket.)!
You must leave a comment telling me which of the above you're doing, so that I can check on you, like a mother checking her daughter's dusting...that's another story. I'll use my trusty friend, Random Generator to select one lucky follower. Confused? Yeah, me too!
I'll run this giveaway through Thursday, May 7th and announce the winner next weekend. You know, this could end very badly for me. What if only two people show up? I mean, I'll cherish them, but I may end up in therapy. This could be The Miss America Pageant episode all over again. Where I answer the question incorrectly and end up on the Today show, talking about my failed contest and my rumored breast implants, or lack thereof.
Good luck, friends!